I know I cannot be the only awkward person in the world. As a matter of fact, I have several friends who are almost as awkward as I am. I get nervous when I have attention focused on me. I panic when asked a direct question that I don’t already have an answer for. Maybe this sounds like you too! Not sure? Either way, keep reading and see if you might be an awkward person too.
You go out of your way to avoid people
Yesterday I went to the gym. It’s a big deal people! Yes I work out but it’s still a struggle to motivate myself every day. I was exhausted from a busy weekend and then having to struggle through a Monday as a teacher (kids are bat-shit crazy on Mondays). Anyway, I finally get myself to the gym and I COULDN’T FIND A FREAKING PARKING SPACE. I went up and down that parking lot TWICE and could not find a single stinking spot. Suddenly I realized that even if I were to find a spot, I would have to go into a gym that was obviously swarming with people. I would have to fight my way through, wait for machines, and probably make awkward small talk.
So. I left.
Hell no. I was not about to deal with that nonsense.
On any given occasion, you can bet that if there is an option of staying home and being alone then I will go with that option. It’s not that I don’t love people, it’s that I am completely exhausted by them. But it’s not them, it’s me. Why? That brings me to point 2.
You never know what to say
I have a good friend who always knows what to say. People could come up to her, spew a whole slew of personal information, and she would know exactly what to say to help them.
The image to your right gives a better representation of how I act on any given day. I have done that exact thing - more than once. I constantly find myself rehearsing scenarios in my head so that I say the right thing, and often I say the wrong thing.
If people put me on the spot and I don’t have time to think, then I will spit out the first thing that pops into my head. And guess what, it won’t be pretty.
People think you’re rude all the time
I am not being dramatic when I say that I NEED this shirt. And I would need to wear it every. single. day. For a long time I was confused as to why people thought I was rude and unkind. Then, one day, I realized that it’s not necessarily that I’m rude; I just never know what to do or say. When you don’t know what to say what should you do? Say nothing! Well that’s RUDE. You need to talk to people! So how do I avoid that? I say something.
Yep. You guessed it. I say the WRONG thing. I blurt. Word vomit (for you Mean Girls fans). I have unkind thoughts quite regularly. For the most part I am able to keep those thoughts in my head but when I am put on the spot and I’m feeling awkward they will come spilling out. They ain’t pretty.
So yes, I guess I can be pretty rude. BECAUSE I AM AWKWARD.
You miss out on conversations
I care about people and what they have to tell me. I want to be a part of things and hear about other people’s cares, concerns, and lives. Sadly, I miss out on a lot. It’s not because I am trying to ignore them; it’s because I am SO busy trying to think of how to contribute to the conversation. At times I am rehearsing what I am going to say next. Other times I am reviewing a conversation thinking about what I SHOULD have already said. As a result, I miss out. I look like I don’t care. I really do care though.
You replay situations over in your head numerous times
Since I constantly say and do the wrong thing, I find myself spending much of my time going over situations thinking of all the things I could have said differently. Should I not have said that? Should I have said more?
Is this getting awkward?
Do these things sounds familiar to you? Do you find yourself agreeing with what I’ve said? If so, you may be awkward. Sadly, I have found no cure for being awkward.
I think all we can really do is surround ourselves with people who love and appreciate our awkwardness. Or, at the very least, tolerate it.
I know I can’t be alone. There must be more awkward people out there. If you feel that you are awkward then I feel for you. But also, I have a question for you.
Will you please be my friend?