So this morning, when I woke up, my mind started shuffling through all the heart breaks I went through. And as I see the sun rising so high and glowing so bright I couldn’t stop the feeling that my heart was beating so loud and fast! Yes I was feeling like a brand new car! Have you ever encountered someone who would bring back all the memories that you have buried long time back? Well that’s exactly what happened to me last night. So here it goes…
So last night, after a long day at work, I decided to head to my all time favorite café which is just around the corner. I stood in a line to place my order. The guy gave me a big smile and said “Hello madam, what would you like to order?” I got confused for a bit seeing the elaborate menu but quickly made up my mind. “A cup of cappuccino and a chicken sandwich please.” “Anything else or that’s all?” “Nope that would be all but add some extra cream to my coffee.” I can take a break from my no-dairy diet for a meal, I said to myself. I turned around and looked for my spot, where I usually sit. It was surprisingly empty as the whole café was quite full of people and noise.
I walked straight towards my table and made myself comfortable. Took out my book which I’m reading currently and flipped the page. I looked outside to see the beautiful snowflakes that were falling on the pine trees. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my back! I turned back and there was this most shocking surprise waiting for me. It was HIM! My heart skipped a bit and started racing. Was I in some kind of a virtual world or is this really happening to me? I tried to quickly compose myself and said “Hi there!”
I think by now everyone has guessed it! Yes it was my long lost former boyfriend. The person, with whom I had planned my whole future at some point in my life. It’s been almost 7 years since I have seen him the last time. Oh the endless fights and the love making sessions we had! The numerous times we wrote each other love letters and the uncountable times we threaten each other to finish it off. Yes things were as nice as they were terrible at times but we seemed to fall in love over and over. There were times when we questioned this love-hate relationship but we always found ways to get back together until one fine morning he told me that he is in love with this other woman.
How do you react to the one, who you love so passionately, tells you that there is this person in his life? I have been always confident about myself and secured that no one can take my place. I used to take so much pride in me and why not? I was this independent woman working and paying my own bills, going to all these fancy vacations. Never have this ever crossed my mind that I could come second in anyone’s life. Was I too self consumed, too proud to be me? Now looking back I feel maybe I was. Maybe I was so occupied with all the praises I was getting from my workplace and friends I couldn’t see that I was losing the one I cared for in the process. I must tell you that this successful, independent woman was shattered into pieces on that day!
“Here is your cappuccino and sandwich!” The words got me back to reality. There he was still standing, as if time has frozen and decades passed. I politely asked him to join me and tried to stay as normal as possible. He seemed, to my surprise, quite easy with the whole thing which again made me a bit uncomfortable. I brought out my corporate attitude and asked,
“How are you Eddie?”
“How’s life?” He stared at me for a moment and replied “Life is rocking; you know you haven’t changed a bit in all these years!”
I was trying to analyze his words. Was he trying to compliment or mock me? Finally I said, “Neither did you! How have you been all these years?”
He smirked! “Well I am doing fine. I have started a business and its booming. Got married and have two children. You know I have just came from a wonderful holiday in the Bahamas. I always wanted to go there and now that I have a family it was more so fun. We surfed in the…..” he continued with his stories while I was staring at him blankly, pretending to listen. My mind was wandering in the long lost memories. He was at such ease talking about his life as if he has met a regular friend and not an old flame. Why is it that my perspective is so different from his now, at one point I believed our thought process is the same. Suddenly I realized that this person, whose sitting in front of me, is not the same person I knew long time back. He moved on with his life and found his peace. Does that automatically indicate that I haven’t? Isn’t it high time that I also make my peace? After all it’s been 7 long years!
That snowy night, in the café, sitting in front of my old love I found a new perspective about life. I realized that it’s alright to let go of all your past baggage and to press the refresh button. Everything will eventually change so u better also change your direction. At times it will be hard to erase all the desires and dreams but nothing’s impossible right? As I was waving goodbye to Eddie I felt that all the bitterness has left and it was a new found “ME”.