This for me has never been an issue. That is probably why I only have a small group of friends but you know what? I am okay with only having a small group of friends and do you know why I like having a small group of friends? I enjoy it because they already know who I am and they do not get their feelings hurt when I speak to them and vice-versa. Being who you are is so very important in life in general.
Let me give you an example as to why it is important to be who you really are in life and I am going to give an example nearly every person can understand. When you go to a doctor you expect them to actually be a doctor you do not want them to pretend to be a doctor correct? Well, generally speaking, that is how everybody is. Most people just want to know who you are. They do not want the front so many people put on.
Do you notice how as you grow older your friend’s list grows smaller? Well, that is because you start to stop caring so much about what others think about you and start realizing that those who are your friends now are truly your friends. They will stick with you no matter what. I mean everybody has their quarrels but I can honestly sit here and say I was not the popular kid at my school. In fact, my class only had 100 graduating students and everybody knew everybody. Meaning we all kind of were friends in some way shape or form. We would do anything for each other. However, I can say I do not stay in contact with any of them now.
You might say what about Facebook? Well of course they are my quote unquote Facebook friend but do you really classify someone who hits like on your post as a friend? Because I do not. I consider someone a friend that I can call in the middle of the night and say I got some news I am pregnant or I said yes. I consider someone a friend who, against all odds, believes in you and supports you. They are the one person you can count on in life and as we grow older we start realizing that the people we called friends are not so much our friends but rather just acquaintances.
With your friends, you want to be able to be who you really are. You want to be able to talk to them when you are upset and you do not want to be afraid of what they will think of you because of your breakdown into tears. You want your friends to laugh with you when you do something funny like fall over nothing, you do not want them to laugh at you. You want to be able to rejoice with them when something spectacular happens such as getting engaged or having a baby. None of this is possible if you are afraid to be you.
So, when you are out searching for who your friend’s really are, you will find them sooner than later if you just be you. Do not be afraid to be who you are in front of those who are supposed to support you and love you as their sister or brother. Be you! Be proud of yourself and your friend’s list will grow smaller but remember those who stay are truly those who will be by your side no matter what.
Family is something you do not get to pick until you get older and become married or you are adopted and even if you are adopted, that does not necessarily mean you got to choose but rather another family chose you. So, in other words, we are stuck with our immediate family forever but we choose our forever person.
In any case, you should still be able to be who you are with your family. Especially your mom and dad. However, so many people do not have this including me. I do not think I realized what family truly meant until I had a family of my own. It seems as though all family wants to do is talk about each other behind their back and so forth.
It was not until I met my husband that I started realizing it was okay to tell people how you feel. Now I am still working on how to say things but sometimes you find out what family will stick by you in thick and thin by just saying what’s on your mind. It is okay to be who you are no matter what. Do not put on a front not even for family.
Now this one is probably the most important lesson I will give you on be who you are. I know I wanted to know exactly who I was going to be living with for the rest of my life. I did not want to say I do and bam be married to someone I never met before. Meaning I did not want to date someone only to find out after I do that they were not the person they said they were. My husband and I even lived with each other before he proposed to me just so we knew for a 100% fact that we were who we said we were. He did not want to marry a stranger nor did I.
I feel like too often times people go out on these fancy dates and put on a front that they have money or they are happy or they are fun to be around and then the moment they say I do and lives start to combine they realize they married complete strangers.
I encourage people to if you do not want to live with each other, then have dates that are simple. Instead of going out to a restaurant that would cost hundreds of dollars for both of you to eat at, have a dine-in date. Meaning pick out a good old movie sit on the couch and have fun watching a movie and spending time with each other. After all, once you say I do that is what life is going to be about. It will not be about going out on expensive dates, it will be about spending time with each other when you have the time. After I do, life continues, and dates stop or slow down anyway.
It is so very important that you be who you are when you are dating someone that way they know what they are getting. In the same respect, it is important for them to be who they are because you want to know who you are marrying. I feel as though if more people were just themselves there would be a lot more divorces. Just be who you are.
You may also like my post: How to find yourself.