When we hear the word commitment, we associate it with exclusivity, faithfulness, loyalty, and such. And in terms of relationship, it could mean a lot deeper. We think of perfect partners, sound relationships, and life-long companionship. And as easy as it may sound, it is actually not.
Some people think that committing is the same as giving up your freedom. Well, yes and no. It is, in a way that you should be ready to give up the “I don’t care, I’ll do anything what I want” kind of mindset. And not really, in a sense that you could still retain the type of person that you are, or what defines you. But of course, when there are shortcomings and such, both partners should always be ready to compromise.
It’s so easy to take someone for granted, especially in a long span of time of being with someone. Familiarity breeds contempt. And that is usually the dilemma in entering a committed relationship. While arguments and problems could be a sort of regular visitors you can’t avoid, patience and understanding should already be one of your key welcoming attitude.
A commitment in a relationship isn’t something you just enter mindlessly and drop out of compulsively. It means giving up your pride for the salvation of the bond and living through every obstacle, regardless if the love is still there or not. Entering and saying yes to one also means that you are emotionally and mentally prepared of the changes that should go with it. No matter how much the generation has changed our perception of relationships, it is what it is. And that is the biggest predicament many people nowadays sort themselves out. It is more like a gamble that can truly change our following days and our perspective.
The Pros and Cons
Isn’t it just so comforting to know that there will always be that one person who would be on your side when life gives you lemons? That is the number one thing you couldn’t deny when you are in a truly committed relationship. You could be sure that there will always be someone to back you up (even when you actually don’t need it), and no matter how big a problem is, you’ll surely don’t have to carry it all alone.
You can cry when you’re sad and upset, act crazy when you feel like it, and laugh as loud as you can when you’re happy. You can be your true self without worries. You don’t have to be so self-conscious when you’re with your partner. You know they’ll understand you, and they like you for being you. You get a lover and a best friend, moulded into one.
The world could crash and all, hardships could get slammed in your worlds, but you know you have someone to grow and grow old with. Your partner could be your daily dose of motivation and perseverance. They could inspire you as you inspire them, have someone feed your mind as you feed theirs, and nurture you as you nurture them. It’s a long-lasting give and take relationship. It feels good to be able to lift someone up when you’re soaring and full of energy, and then have someone pick you up when you’re weak and losing faith.
All those and more. You know you have a partner to call on when you get a ring, the call of nature. Yes, unlimited sex! You won’t have to worry about getting sexually transmitted diseases or HIV. You need not to worry about being conscious or doubtful of your next sexcapade. You have all the time of your life to explore with your partner and do all those crazy things. You eventually can pinpoint their g-spots, physically and emotionally. And you know you won’t be left hanging there, after everything.
It is evident through observation and researches that people with stronger commitment has higher levels of relationship satisfaction and quality, and in turn, a fulfilling life.
While it is so easy to over sensualize love and commitment, there are a lot things we underestimate and overlook when we’re so high in love and positivity. We can say “love conquers all” all we want, but at the end of the day, when everything gets so tangled up, we know it does not. And while a committed relationship has all those glistening sparkly perks, it also comes with mind-wrecking downsides.
You get to be yourself with your special partner all you want, but everything still boils down to one thingcompromise. And that is the one major downside of it, especially when you used to be that happy-go-lucky kind of person who goes for what they want when they want to, and pushes through every single thing they think is right when they think so. While you can still be yourself, your partner also could be themselves. Things won’t work out unless you adjust both yourselves to fit into the relationship. Whether you like it or not, it is either one has to give up their standpoint or both of you has to meet halfway.
Being in that kind of setting, you won’t be able to get away with quarrels. That’s one major thing you can’t avoid when you live with someone for a long time. You learn each other’s ins and outs, all the good and the bad (and the bad could mean really bad), and you just have to live with it.
After all those, all the “what if’s” could come crashing onto you. What if I hadn’t committed? What are the other things I could still be able to do without this person? What if there was someone better? But still, in the long run, you are still expected to just forget about those thought and shake it off.
While you know you have someone forever, you have less time for other kinds of relationships. You have less personal space. You now have an obligation to another person. You may lose yourself in the long run. And moreover, sex could be repetitive especially when the highs go down and the waves calm.