My friends and I at one time had a discussion on how you could know if the love relationship that you are in is bad enough so that you could leave it. It might sound easy but ending a love relationship is one of the painful and toughest things that you could go through. It does not just happen; it is the little things we do some of which weaken the bond in a relationship that there is nothing left other than a breakup. In any love relationship, there exist some challenges which have the potential to ruin that relationship, sometimes without your knowledge. These behaviors when avoided could give you and your spouse a chance to make it through. In that case, it will make it a healthy and long-term love relationship filled with happiness. Therefore to know if the love relationship that you are in could take a turn for the worse, here are some of the habits to keep an eye out for .
Here I'm not talking about "sweetheart that dinner you made was fantastic…." Kind of a lie, I'm concerned with the little white lies which you pile up from time to time. This lies could ruin your relationship which should otherwise be built upon honesty. From the time you both decided to be in the same love relationship that is the moment that secrets stopped existing between the two of you. You are expected to be truthful to your partner; at least you owe them that as a way of being honest with each other.
Trying to improve your partner
No person is perfect, we all have flaws. There are simple things that you can change in him or her, for instance, making the bed or putting dirty laundry in the basket but don't expect the unrealistic changes such as shyness to stop. Sometimes to stand a chance at changing them, you will have to go deeper and dig the underlying causes first. They don't just happen magically.
A relationship is all about you giving and taking. At one time you can buy your guy dinner, and he may decide to reciprocate it the next time, or even sometimes you may end up doing it again. The point here is that he does not have to do something because you have done it before. Keeping scores of what you have done and whatever they have not done could be one of the things that weaken your relationship. It seems like a competition and puts pressure on an individual who will result in unnecessary tension.
If spying is your kind of thing, then avoid it as soon as possible! That is if at all you want your relationship to be long-term and healthy. Being in a relationship is not just about love, it also takes two people trusting in each other so as to make it work. Having confidence in your partner and trusting that they would not do something that could hurt you in any way is what keeps the bond strong. Respecting their privacy is the key and the first step to making your relationship work out. Don't go around snooping in their emails, texts or bedroom drawers it is going to weaken your trust and relationship.
No one likes being compared to an ex. We all know how disgusting and annoying it feels. It could show how the person has not moved on. If you always do this with your partner then know that your relationship could take a very drastic turn at any moment which will not end well. Stop comparing your current relationship partner with a person from the past relationship that you had as it leads to unrealistic expectations.
Not being real with yourself
Being in any relationship is not all just about being real to the other person. What about yourself? Be real with what you want so as to find satisfaction in your relationship. You might love someone very much without a doubt, but then when you don't feel comfortable in that relationship, I doubt it will go any further to being a long-term relationship. Are you okay with the things happening to you in that relationship? Are they worth it? Is your long distance relationship worth the work? Failure to being true to oneself always has some negative impact down the road.
Not knowing why you are in the relationship
So both of you are dating, right? But are the two of you just dating or do you have something that you want out of it such as long-term goals like marriage? Your partner ought to put a ring on it while you on the other side you are in it just for casual dating. Forgetting the reason why you are dating will consequently weaken your relationship. It is the long-term goals you both share which keep the two of you moving forward and striving to make things work out.
It is one thing to be comfortable in a relationship and another when you are too comfortable. Sometimes partners may feel too secure that they can even put on a few pounds due to being too inactive. You might feel too comfortable that you forget to do the things that used to excite your partner and got them interested in you at the beginning of your relationship. When you let go of all the exciting stuff that you also used to do together, then your relationship could grow weaker. Always try and be a power couple so as to have a happy and healthy love life.
Being over jealous
Feeling some jealousness is healthy for your relationship, but it is another case when you allow it to take over. Jealousy especially the one which comes as a result of doubting your partner is a sign of a great relationship insecurity which is a problem for you as a couple. Jealousy could lead to regular arguments which with time weaken the bond that you both share with each other. I always give my friends who are constantly feeling envy this advice, stay off your partner's Facebook or other social media sites.
Love is not all sunshine and roses. Expect to disagree with your partner at times and arguments are bound to happen. Arguing can be a healthy part of any relationship and never have disagreements could make you unable to compromise. Despite the fact that fighting is good for your relationship, it is not okay when you make it an all-day affair.
Failing to forgive
We expect our partner to make mistakes in our relationships, that is normal. In the end, it all goes down to forgiveness and not revenge because this is the person that you love and cherish a lot. Having grudges will result in unwanted stress and anxiety which is not healthy. Aside from that, grudges will only hurt your relationship by weakening the love that you both feel for each other and may even result in hatred.
Bad timing discussions
As partners in a love relationship, you are expected to talk things out concerning the various aspects and expectations of your relationship, for instance, your finance. All of this stuff have a time and place to be comfortably discussed. Things can take a wrong turn when you bring up a particular topic at a wrong time. For example when you want to discuss your finances at the time when your partner is feeling stressed just shows how selfish and uncaring you are. When your partner thinks of you that way, then it could weaken your relationship with them.
Creating unnecessary arguments
Don't be melodramatic each and every time; it is annoying and stressful to your partner. As pointed earlier no one is perfect and so is the relationship you are in, therefore whenever there is a problem, just find an easy way to address it calmly without unnecessary fights.
The above are some of the habits which could be pointing out that your relationship is heading for the rocks. Even so, you may decide to get the support that both of you need from a couple's therapist which can make a big difference rather than calling it quits.